I Won't Let Go
by Michelle285
Summary: Castle thinks about all he'd like to do for Kate, and does some of her own thinking as well.


_Disclaimer: No, I do not own this. Rascal Flatts claims the song, ABC and Andrew Marlowe claims the characters. *sigh* _

_ A/N: I heard this song and immediately thought of Castle and Beckett. I also started it ages ago and the preview for next week made me finish it, so I hope you can enjoy! _

It's like a storm  
That cuts a path  
It breaks your will  
It feels like that

You think you're lost  
But you're not lost on your own  
You're not alone

Castle had seen it that first day. He did think Kate Beckett had lost her father because the ring was under her shirt. If the ring was displayed he was sure he would've known it was her mother. He hadn't expected her to be as affected by it as she had. Of course he knew that a death of someone that close would be traumatic, but he knew it had happened a while back and he thought she would be past the five stages of grief by now. She obviously wasn't.

He could see what it did to her every time someone brought it up. Sure, she tried to hide it, but while he wasn't a trained detective, he was an observant author. Every time they were close to figuring something out and it slipped away he could tell she let a little more hope slip away. Kate looked defeated, she looked lost every time. Castle could also tell she felt as though she was completely alone in this. He hadn't told her yet, but she was so very far from alone.

I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
If you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go

He wasn't a commitment type of guy. He refused to commit to anything except Alexis and his mother. He hadn't really even expected to commit to this precinct shadow game he was playing. After all, he had only used it to get closer to the detective so he could find out more about her, to use her as a muse for his book. As he got closer to her though, he could tell there was so much more to this fascinating woman.

Kate Beckett was a very strong woman, he knew that much from the first time he saw her at his launch party for the last Derrick Storm book. He also knew, though, that her mother's case took a toll on her like nothing else. He could tell it was the one thing that made her question herself day in and day out. If was the one thing that made her feel like she was inadequate. Castle also knew there were probably more nights than not when Kate cried because she didn't save her. Not only could Kate not save her mother, but she couldn't even bring her killer to justice yet. Castle sighed. He would do so much for her with her mother's case…if she would only let him.

It hurts my heart  
To see you cry  
I know it's dark  
This part of life  
Oh it finds us all  
And we're too small  
To stop the rain  
Oh but when it rains

Granted, Castle didn't know much about losing someone you loved. He didn't have a father, but he didn't _lose_ him; Castle never even knew him. He had lost Meredith and Gina, but he wasn't sure he ever loved them. It was strange though, when Kate was hurting over something, it almost made him hurt as well. He wanted to do something and make her feel better.

He knew there was no way he could help her mother's case not hurt her. He did look into it, but in the end that only made it worse. His mother always said, "You can't stop the rain, Richard." Every time Alexis had gotten hurt Martha reminded him of that phrase. He knew he couldn't "stop the rain," so to speak, in Kate's case, but he wanted to do something to show her she wasn't alone.

I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight

He went with her to the abandoned warehouse. He had to help save Ryan and Esposito, but he had ulterior motives. He was going to stand by her in whatever she did with her mother's case. He wasn't going to let her be alone on anything else she did concerning Johanna. He hoped one day she would believe him.

Castle knew Kate didn't totally trust him yet. She let him in farther than she had let anyone else, but she wasn't herself around him yet. She tried to be the strong, tough-as-nails detective all the time, but her mother's case really brought her down. When Lockwood wouldn't give up any information, yet again, Castle knew something had to give.

And I won't let you fall  
Don't be afraid to fall  
I'm right here to catch you  
I won't let you down  
It won't get you down  
Your gonna make it  
Yea I know you can make it

"He's not going to crack!" Kate exclaimed in anger.

"You don't know that," Castle pointed out.

"Yes, I do," Kate argued. "I told him I was going to keep coming back until he was begging for mercy. It didn't even faze him!"

Castle wished Kate would let him help her, wished she would trust him enough to know he wouldn't let her down. He knew she wouldn't, but he tried to be as encouraging as possible. "Then you'll find another way to get the killer."

Kate shook her head. "I don't know."

"I know you can do it," Castle told her.

Castle saw something flash in Kate's eyes before it was gone. He couldn't tell what it was, but knew it wasn't something bad. "Thanks, Castle."

Cause I will stand by you  
I will help you through  
When you've done all you can do  
And you can't cope  
I will dry your eyes  
I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight  
And I won't let go  
Oh I'm gonna hold you  
And I won't let go  
Won't let you go

Castle vowed that he would always be there to help Kate whenever she needed it, especially since they had recently gotten together. When she had to help the Senator, instead of killing him (as she kept claiming she wanted to do) he was there for her. He always planned to be. When Alexis got kidnapped though, he could think about nothing but his daughter.

"We'll find her," Kate whispered.

Castle closed his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. "But what if we don't. What if…" Castle trailed off. He refused to think about what happened if the kidnapper decided he didn't need Alexis anymore.

"We will!" Kate insisted. "And don't think what if. That won't happen!"

Castle couldn't help it, a few tears fell. "I need her, Kate."

Kate reached up and used her thumbs to gently wipe away his tears. "I know, Castle."

Castle took a deep breath and blinked a few times. He knew they had to go into the bull pen. The FBI agent had just left. Ryan, Esposito and even Gates would be wanting answers.

Kate sighed and tried to hold in her own tears. It hurt to see Richard Castle so broken. She threw away every care she ever had about hiding their relationship and wrapped her arms around him.

Castle was stiff at first. It totally took him by surprise. "Gates will see."

"I don't care," Kate told him. She knew he needed this and if Gates found out from this hug, so be it.

The tone in Kate's voice told Castle she was completely serious, so he relaxed into her arms a bit more and let his tears fall.

Kate took a deep breath and again had to try and keep her tears at bay. She knew that no matter what, she had to be strong for him. She not only had to be here for comfort, she just _had_ to find Alexis for him. She knew if Alexis died…Castle wouldn't be able to cope. She chased that thought away and tightened her hold on Castle.

When Castle only responded by letting out a strangled sob, Kate brought her lips to his ear. "Shh. I promise, I won't let go."

_ I honestly never thought I'd finish this. I'm kind of impressed with myself that I did. It may be no good, so let me know. At the end, I think I got lost in the Alexis kidnapping scenario and kind of lost the song. I tried to put it in there more towards the end, because I remembered this still needed to relate to the song! I'm freaking out about this two parter, which is what motivated me to finish this and put this in the end. Let me know what you think…and if you're freaking out too, I'd be more than happy to discuss that! Haha…please review and thanks for reading! _


End file.
